If you really care about her, you would care more about her happiness then yours.

News and Notes(8/25/10)

Looked at this blog this morning and saw I had a new comment on my post I did about my hair. I looked at the comment and it made my day. Someone commented regarding me helping them with an assignment that they were trying to work on and that I had been one of their resources. I take that as a great honor.
Also, I skipped my first class of the semester today. I would have liked to have gone but I forgot to put in my change of availability for the semester. So I worked instead of classing it. I don't plan on missing another class though. I also don't plan on being late for my 9:30 class tomorrow(or ever).
As many of you know, my phone's screen stopped working recently. Occasionally if I shimmy it right, I can see things but that is not working all of the time. I do like having little sense of time and being out of reach sometimes but it is really difficult when making plans. I also got to answer the phone without knowing who it is. It's like I'm living in the 90's again. Mi amigo, Tyler, offered me his phone to use but it doesn't seem to be working for me either. It only turns in when it is plugged in and even when that happens, it won't let me do anything. By golly I would like to get this figured out soon.

न्यूज़ एंड नोट्स (८/२४/२०१०)

First thing of note is that in my practice class there are 27 people total including the professor and I am the only person there with a Y chromosome. There usually is a high girl to guy ratio in my SW classes but this is the first time I've been alone. Not necessarily a good or a bad thing, just saying.
In my family problems class, I know a lot more people than I thought I would know. I knew I was going to know Amanda, Kori, and Lindsay. I didn't realize that SW Sean, John C, and Kayla P were going to be there. Not to mention the football players that are in the class. (5; Taiwan, Debrale, Everette, Cameron, and Avis)
At work, there was a shake weight(tm) that was not in the box and I was playing with it for a while. I learned a lot about myself by playing with the shake weight(tm). I also learned that there are at least three ways to use the shake weight that don't just seem silly. Number one is, pretend you are digging a ditch. Put the shovel in the ground and shake for a second, and then throw the dirt over your shoulder and shake for a second. Number two is, to pretend you are rowing a boat. A couple of shakes to the left followed by a couple of shakes to the right. Number three is, do the Jersey Shore fist pump. This one works better if you are to put on some House Music during the exercise.
I can't stop listening to the new Arcade Fire album. It's in my car on a cd and it hasn't made it's way out yet.

बिग हैर

When the weather outside gets to be humid, as humid as it sometimes gets in the summer in Tallahassee, my hair gets big. I would consider my hair to be naturally wavy. Without humidity there is very little actual curl in my hair. When the humidity comes out to play, that's when little tufts of my hair starts to go into little curling frenzies. That's when I get ringlets in my hair and when my hair starts to get big. My hair, unlike some people's, doesn't grow down on the sides. It likes to grow out in order to see how wide it can make my head look. I think there is a contest that it going on to see how far away the tips can get from each other.
Yesterday, in my thinking chamber, I was thinking of how I would describe my hair and instantly I knew it wouldn't be considered an afro from most people that saw it(which is disappointing because I would very much like to have a classic afro, although it probably wouldn't look as good on me as it does on my cousin, Russell). It is also pretty close to the traditional jewfro, but I think it is less curly and more big than that. I finally settled on calling my hair a "halfro"(pronounced: Half Fro) when it is out and about in the world.

साद

I'm sad that With a Big Heart and Open Eyes us no longer an up and running blog @ blogspot.com. The occasional post was nice and it was also nice to have that one way to occasionally communicate. This is still weird for me to think about, as I have never been in this situation before. Hope something happens soon or I might drive myself crazy with anticipation. 'Miss' doesn't seem to cover it for some reason.

Today

Zach comes back today and that's a good thing. At least I think he comes back today. I missed him when he was being all french and stuff. I'm excited for the new semester and everyone getting back to Tally so we can all have a good time again.

Today.

Today is a brand new day. I'm excited to get started. I wonder what I will do and where my heart will take me. There are things I know I need to do, but I just really want to enjoy the sun. Also, no more fast food for me. I'm also really trying to cut down on my pop intake. These things are going to be very difficult for me. I really love pop and fast food is so cheap and easy to buy. We'll see how it goes. But if you see me doing any of these things, try and hold me accountable. Maybe I can defy myself and accomplish these things.

dreams

I can't wait until I'm dreaming again. Everything is the way that I want it to be at those times. Why can't reality be more like this...

It was good to get that out of the way, now there's no excuses.
No reason why it can't work out the way we had it planned all along.
Which means that it has to work, right?
If there's nothing in the way?
Well, nothing except for you.
And nothing except for me.
Now we are our own worst enemies to the plans we made years ago,
that we always had excuses for.
All I can do is go all out at this point.
Let nothing stop me but respect.
Nothing but respect for you.
And nothing but respect for me.

Things will start turning out the way you want if you just stop doubting that I love you.

The most wise thing I've heard all week

Set specific times during the day to dive into the word of God.
Anytime turns into no time way too easily.

Mike Braun said something close to this in his sermon on Sunday and it has really stuck with me. This has been a probably for me and I think these words can help me to be more consistent in reading my bible everyday like I want to. I've really enjoyed the summer sermons but I can't wait for Pastor Erik to be back.

Where have all the people gone?

Everyone is leaving me here on this site. Still, I will continue on. I will continue to post every once in a while when I have motivation to do so. I enjoy expressing my feelings on this blog, no matter how many people's feelings I get to read myself. I could move to tumblr like (basically) everyone else I used to read on here. I could do that, but I can't. Where does the switching of a place to share your thoughts end? Soon, tumblr will probably be a thing of the past and then I would probably be left behind again. I could keep this blog and open a tumblr myself but I already use this site, twitter, and (although not recently, but I will eventually be back on) facebook. When does it stop being fun and start being just a giant waste of time. I enjoy reading about my friends though and I am sad that they have left me.

My Family is Awesome!

This is a copy of an e-mail I just opened from my Aunt Cheryl regarding my Grandma's birthday coming up next weekend. I'm super excited to spend time with them and here are some of the reason's why: I've added personal notes of explanation to explain some things.

Maureen’s 75th Birthday Bash!
9 days and counting to the family and friends fun weekend in honor of our wonderful mother, grandmother and friend!
We wanted to send each one of you some information regarding the schedule for the weekend and what to bring. So here goes…
Please be sure to bring:
•
Beach towel
•
Bath Towel Chances are I won't be showering for (most of) the weekend.
•
Lawn Chairs
•
Tents, Blankets and Pillows (if you have been informed that you or your children will potentially sleep in a tent) Positive I'm sleeping in a tent.
•
Bags Game or other outdoor game My family love competition, even if it's just friendly comp
•
Cooler
•
BYOB – those of legal age are to bring whatever alcohol they need for the weekend. Those under legal age – don’t even think about it. ☺I'm the last Grandkid to turn 21 until Ted (17), poor Ted, this was directed solely at him...
What’s on the Schedule:
•
Friday evening
o
Most family and guests are arriving – plan to eat Italian Beef Sandwiches at the Andersen Compound – casual evening
•
Saturday morning
o
Breakfast – each cottage will have their own light breakfast
o
Family 5K – because Steve’s Run is not scheduled until late July, we are doing our own. We would love for all family and friends to participate whether you can run like the wind or walk with a little one. The plan is to go up to the Yacht Club and back. Water station will be manned at the Yacht Club. Please bring your running shoes! Recipe for disaster. I guess I have to start training now...
•
Saturday afternoon
o
Lunch at the Andersen Compound – burgers, dogs and salads
o
Survivor/Amazing Race Competition – serious fun here. Mary and Mark are putting together a really fun challenge for us. Feel free to bring a funny hat or outfit that would bring some humor to the event. I know the grandkids will come through on this… If you do not wish to be on a team where you could use your athletic skills or problem solving skills, please let Mary know via e-mail as soon as possible. Once again need to start training. I think I'm expected to preform at a reasonably high level in this one...
•
Saturday evening
o
Dinner at the Andersen Compound – pulled chicken and pork and sides Yum.
•
Sunday morning
o
Brunch – each cottage will have their own brunch
•
Sunday evening
o
Maureen’s Birthday Bash – the band is scheduled to start playing at 7:00 pm EST. I hear there is going to be a magician this year...
o
Dinner – Mexican Fiesta
Finally, we will collect $60/adult for food, prizes, band, etc for the weekend. Please bring cash with you and give to Mary or Cheryl upon arrival.
We are really looking forward to a wonderful celebration in honor of Maureen. Pray for good weather and safe travels.
See you in just a few days!

Plans

Not so good with plans right now. I do know that I plan on going to class tomorrow and then go to lunch with a couple of my friends. I also know that at sometime during the day tomorrow, I will get a haircut of some kind. I also know that I really want to climb a tree and read a book. This all seems very attainable at this time. The haircut won't be too show and tree climbing may be shorter than I'd like. The heat might get in the way of how long I stay in a tree. Going outside in Tallahassee right now feels a lot like going inside... an oven right now. Good deals on this very attainable plan for tomorrow.

Explanation

That last post was about facebook, that's it. No reason to look into it or anything. I was having a bad day. I love my friends and it's just too easy for me to get emotional about little things that shouldn't bug me like they do. So I'm taking a breather from facebook and trying to focus on actual people and being more productive. I'm hoping that as my facebook use goes down, my actual computer use will go down too. This = productivity to me for some reason. I'm excited to grow. This is happening.

I can't take the on again/off again anymore. Let me know when it's going to be on again for a while. dml07d@fsu.edu

New Jack

Walking through Target past the electronics section today and I noticed something that wasn't there the day before. I realized that it was a new Jack Johnson CD. Jack Johnson was my jam back in my high school days and In Between Dreams is one of my favorite CDs of all time(to be fair, I will most likely end up having a lot of favorite CDs of all time). A lot of the songs from that CD mean a lot to me emotionally because I listened to them with some of the coolest people you will ever meet. In early 2008 when Jack's next CD was coming out, I was excited. I went to Walmart with some friends and wandered to the electronic section to grab Sleep Through the Static and go home and listen to it. I was disappointed when I finally got a chance to listen to it. It was missing the catchy lyrics and originality of In Between Dreams. It was almost like Jack Johnson had realized what had made him a success on his previous album and decided that he was going to take these songs to a song writing machine, plug in the formula he was going to use, press a button, and out would pop a song and there was track 6 from Sleep Through the Static. The most accurate word I can use to describe that album is forgetable. Sleep Through the Static stopped me from getting excited about Jack Johnson's new CD coming out. I didn't even know he had a new CD coming out until today when I saw it on the shelf. I told myself I would give the new CD a listen because of the good memories I had from the 2005 release. Because AOL.com lets you listen to entire CDs from albums that are being released that week, I decided to listen to the new album before I went to bed. The first two tracks did not seem very good to me. The opener, You and Your Heart, is the first single, and it seems very similar to the song from Sleep Through the Static, If I Had Eyes. I didn't really like that song very much anyway. Past the first two songs, except for a couple of mediocre songs towards the end of the CD, I thought it became a very solid album. Nothing on it really blew me away but I wasn't necessarily expecting it to and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing either. I don't think it was as good as In Between Dreams, but I will definitely be giving it another listen.
Also, Blogger is telling me this is my 100th post!!! Blogger is also probably including a couple of the posts I did on the Lemon Cayenne Pepper Cleanse Blog that was popular for a week. Boo that thing, man.

Obscure Music Spotlight

Don't know if any of ya'll have heard of this new band I think I've just discovered.
They're called The National and they're pretty good at playing music.
They were on Letterman recently and I just saw the video and it may have blown me away a bit.
Check it out.
The National - Afraid of Everyone

Boy was I wrong.

"Got to read some Romans and then pass out for the night. I'm excited, Romans is sooooo good."
That was me like an hour and a half ago. Boy was I wrong. On the first part of course. Read some Romans and then more Romans, and then finished some Romans. On the second part, Romans is still 'sooooo good'. Some people base their entire lives off of things that were said in Romans. Paul is for sure a soldier. A lot can be learned from soldier Paul and his words.
All this Romans (and a little Francis Chan following that) got me to thinking about how easy it is to be lukewarm when everything is going poorly and you have to rely on Him to make it through the day. I need constant reminders that He is all that ever really matters. His love for me is so huge that it is unfathomable. I can't wrap my puny little brain around it. That's how it needs to be though. What is the point of even having an all powerful being if the workings are easy to understand? What is the point if the workings are even possible for us to understand?
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well!"
Psalm 139: 14
On a slightly different subject, my fears are unfounded. Thanks for the reassurance. Even if there was reason to be fearful, there is no reason. Everything is going to work itself out as long as I trust in the Lord. How easily I forget that. It is nice to know that I can remember though.
Small note about these posts. They are mostly word vomit with very little proofreading or planning. I try to make sure that most of the words I am saying are words but that's the extent of it. Hopefully this helps somebody, maybe.

Focus.

I want to try and get better and not being so sporadic and keep on track with things I've said I want and need to do. Time to get my head on straight and put in some solid work. I am happy with my friendships right now. Love my roommates and close friends, and I'm really starting to enjoy spending time with the four oaks friends that I have made. I am missing one of my best friends though. Wish we could talk.


There's a little bit of everything in this post. Bad, Good, Bad.


Got to read some Romans and then pass out for the night. I'm excited, Romans is sooooo good.

Summer time.

I'm ready for this to be the best summer ever. Can't wait for you guys to help.

Run Update

Ran a 2.8 mile loop around the stadium and back three times last week. Then I took two days off. That puts me at 8.4 total miles completed. That puts me at 91.6 away from 100 and 66.6 away from my backup goal of 75. And I have 19 days left to complete it. Those two days without runs may have hurt me a lot. Still might be attainable. 4.8 miles a day for 100 miles and 3.5 for 75. Strategy today is to find a 4.8 mile loop to run for the day. Take it day by day and we'll see what happens.

Goal!

Made a new running goal today, but I am not sure how realistic it is. I would love to run 100 miles in the month of April. It seems really very daunting at this moment because I think I ran a total of zero miles in the month of March. When thinking about it, maybe 75 miles is the better choice. I'm not going to settle though, at least not yet. I need to set the goals a little above what I think I can do but still possible if I put my mind to it.

If I do 100 by the 30th, that's 100 miles in 24 days. It's a little over 4 miles a day. Certainly not impossible. I'll expect to some days run more than I need to and other days run less or take days off. I'm going to try my best to keep on top of this. I don't want to have to run a half marathon on April 30th, because right now, that does not sound fun. But maybe I'll do that at the end just to blow the 100 mile mark out of the water. For the record, 75 miles in April would be about a 5k a day(3.125 miles). To keep track of mileage, I will be using mapmyrun.com.

My mind is really moving today. It took forever for it to happen, but I think I got a decent amount of things accomplished today. Partially organized my room, got my car washed, went grocery shopping, thought about working out. The hits just keep on coming.

First post in a while. Just dropping in to say that I think the new Titus Andronicus album is pretty solid.

Pumped

I don't know if you've noticed but I am getting pretty excited for FSU Baseball season. It's coming up quickly(Friday @ 4:00PM), and we should be pretty good. We return most of our key players from last season and have a couple of newcomers that should really make a difference. Hopefully they show poise and maturity much like the 2007 freshmen class. Here's a pic:

Movement

Ran a little less than 2 miles today and swam about 1/4 mile yesterday. I'm kind of proud of my little fitness binge recently. It's sometimes tough to find the motivation to get out of bed or get off my butt to do these things. And while 2 miles doesn't seem like that much compared to how much I was running in high school, I'm happy that it's turning into something and I will slowly get into better shape if I keep this regiment up. Not sure what tomorrow brings(probably day of rest), but I am excited for the next time I go for a run or break a sweat.

Running

I just ran 1.15 miles around my apartment complex. It sucked. The first day back always does. My legs don't like the hills in Tallahassee. That's what I like about running though, it's a way to punish yourself for the greater good. You hurt yourself knowing that you're going to come out stronger. Plus, I can't help but feel I deserve the pain sometimes.

THE BEST PET OF THE MONTH!!!!

Yazmyne has been named THE BEST PET OF THE MONTH!!!! by the veterinarian located on Ausley Road just south of Pensacola Street.

I know very little about Yazmyne, but I do know that this wonderful creature must be super awesome because it has garnered THE BEST PET OF THE MONTH!!!! award from said vet.

I am forced to wonder about this pet. Is it a dog? Is it a cat? Are there any other animals that are even considered in the running for this prestigious award? We really may never know.

Epiphany

Thank you, Jesus.

This was hard for me to come to terms with. Thank you for getting me here. There is only one thing that can make me happy, and it is You! This just hit me like a ton of bricks, but You, God, are the only thing that matters. I need to forget girls, forget trying to find earthly things to please me, and dive headfirst into your word. I need to stop and live my life through You. Thank you for putting me in the situation I am in right now. As much as I hate it, as much as it is the last thing that I wanted to happen, I am so thankful for getting me to this moment for You. Thank you for breaking my heart in order to rebuild it with the scar tissue that is your love for me and all of my brothers and sisters. You truly are an awesome God. The only thing that really matters is You and all that You have done for everyone. Rejoice! You are amazing! I'm happy to feel this pumped right now, because a half hour ago I was feeling so down.

Now I need to finish my reading so I can wake up refreshed for tomorrow!

I'm glad you're not feeling the way I'm feeling right now.

You were always the one with the words.

So I'll use someone else's words:

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called."

1 Timothy 6:12

Be awesome, you know what I mean.